Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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