You really coming over, don't trick.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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