Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
