Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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