The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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