How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
