Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
