you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
