I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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