just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
