You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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