Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
