Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
