I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
