so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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