She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
