Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
