He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
