i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
