He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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