SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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