I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
