I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
third nipple confirmed
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
