the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
