So drunk its hurt
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize