In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
