yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
