i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
