when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
