I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
