Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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