ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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