Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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