Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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