do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
