apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
