never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize