the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
