i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
