C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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