return my video game
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i think i have two assholes
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
