Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
