U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
