Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
