um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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