it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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