Where is the hickey?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
