I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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