does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
