I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
