Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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