You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
stop calling my apartment porn island.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
