I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize