I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I want to make a zoo with you.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
