There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize