you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So much rum. So many feels.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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