his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
