Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Houston, we have a blender
I think your dad took our porno
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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