your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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