He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
What a dumb baby whore.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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