I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
