So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
