Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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