dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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