I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
